Pull up a chair, it’s story time.

Hey there. I haven’t posted in a few days, but not for the lack of a good story. I was working up the cojones to tell it. In all honesty, I’m pretty sure this is a tale I’ll enjoy telling in the years to come. For now, it just leaves my face red and my foot hurting.

Now that I’ve built it up a little, it seems wrong to make you wait. Let’s just pretend a few years have passed and we’re all hanging out enjoying each other’s company over a bottle (or five) of wine. In this fast-forward scene, Hawea has just delivered a rousing rendition of “Riverdance” and a dynamic performance of “Trees in the Wind” is in queue. Conditions are ripe for a re-enactment of “the time I catapulted myself head first over a rock wall, into the ocean, in front of about 30 people“. I scan the room in search of a decent prop. Luckily, there’s no rock wall in sight. The coffee table will have to do.

“It was a typical weekday evening. I showed up for Torture Tuesday a little late, but determined to give it my all. I did the warm-up not once, but twice, so the final straggler wouldn’t have to do it alone. We were off to a good start. Little did I know that the warm-up was about to be my entire workout. We were only on the second station, doing step-up/step-downs on the wall. What happened next is hard to say. I intentionally picked up the speed at precisely the same moment I unintentionally tripped on the top of the wall. There I was, flailing wildly through the air, careening headfirst toward a patch of lava at the speed of light. Somehow, I activated my super-woman-ninja skills and landed upright on both feet, (with the force of an elephant being dropped from the sky) before falling backward onto my bum into the friggin ocean. Yes, people. This actually happened. To me. There are at least 20 witnesses in case you don’t believe me. Probably closer to 30.”

Here’s where I pause for a moment to allow for a collective giggle, because yes, it really was as ridiculous and dramatic as it sounds. I’m pretty sure that “the wahine who flew over the wall at the workout” was a popular topic at dinner tables across town that night. I keep laughing when I imagine what it must have looked like. For more than one reason, I’m really wishing I were a witness instead of the leading lady.

It’s worth mentioning that if given the choice of an audience for future public embarrassment, I would probably choose Whitney and Dharma and the Tuesday Torture participants. They’re a first rate, totally terrific group of people. It’s not every day a person can make a complete ass out of themselves and end up feeling encouraged, supported and cared for instead of humiliated and ready to quit. In fact, I was bummed to have to sit out the rest of the workout – it looked like one of the best ones yet. It sucks that I’ll be missing the next few until everything heals up.

Luckily, it’s not a serious injury (no breaks, according to the doc and x-rays). The impact of the landing resulted in a contusion to the heel area. For now, I’m rocking this sexy boot:

and making use of these bad boys:

One final note: a day like that makes a girl appreciate a drink like this:

Now I can cross “catapulting over a wall into the ocean” off my bucket list. Since I totally meant to do that. 😉