Thoughts on Vulnerability
I’ve been thinking about vulnerability a lot lately. By definition, vulnerability is 1) “to be capable of or susceptible to being hurt, as by a weapon” or “open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc“.
Why am I writing about this? Well, after sharing some of the more personal aspects of my life lately with all 309 of my Facebook “friends” and any random readers in the blogosphere, I began to wonder if I crossed a line. I questioned my judgment in sharing intimate details with such a wide range of people. I started to wonder what people would do with what I shared. I began to wonder if anyone might use what I have revealed to hurt me.
I’m not proud of this defensive mindset, and yet, there it is. It has shaped both the frequency and depth of posts in recent days, while I try to find my footing and search for a sense of solid ground.
So there we have it. Blogging takes me out of my comfort zone. I’m used to minimizing details. It helps me feel like less of a freak. But blending in comes at the cost of being myself. It’s tiring. I never really realized that before. A new commitment I’ve made to myself is to just BE MYSELF. That means being more transparent about the emotional ups and downs – sharing my struggles and victories for no other reason than because I can.
Embracing vulnerability is an act of raw surrender. It’s an expression trust that in the end, if you give what you have to give – from an open heart and peaceful mind – everything will work out as it should.